Sex and live-in. No big deal!

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.
 
Gone are the days when love and marriage were sacred – ‘you live once, you die once and you love once’.
Well, today you’ll not  find this even in cliched Mills & Boons or Karan Johar movies. ‘Move on’, ‘what next’ is the mantra not only for the young but for all. Senior citizens are too not shying away from this philosophy. In fact they are opting for live-in relationships.

This is 21st century and nothing is durable and long lasting not even Durex . Everything comes with an expiry date. Albeit in some cases couples do carry on beyond their expiry date but not because of love but because of peripheral benefits that they get out of their relationship. They are absolutely cool with the idea of DOUBLE INCOME AND NO SEX (read http://www.timescrest.com/society/double-income-no-sex-6761). After all sex has always been overrated in our society. And when every second married man/women has a fling then who wants to stay in a marriage because of Sex. Sex is not a taboo anymore. It has become commodity. The same is reflected in every day life including our movies – Rockstar, Sahib Biwi Aur Gangster and the list goes on.

But marriage or romance is not dead. More and more couples are relying on practical aspects more than getting carried away by emotions. Today no one plans to run away from their parents to get married. They are not rushing into commitment.

Before couples decide on taking the plunge they are pulling all strings to make sure they decide rationally and not emotionally. Here live-in comes handy.  As Rachna Kothari explains: “A live-in relationship is like a trial marriage. It gives the couple a good graph on their compatibility. It’s like a dream relationship, with no strings attached. If you need to end the live-in, you just walk out. Whereas if you need to end your marriage, the divorce procedure is long and hassling.” Probably that’s why people who first have live-in relationship end up having better married life than their counterparts who straight away enter into matrimony after going around for several years.

Marketers have always believed in test marketing before going full hog on marketing. It’s time we learn from them.

LIVE-IN RELATIONS  are not bad for our society. On the contrary they’ll help in stabilizing the institution of marraiage.

Long live the live-in relationships!!!!!!!

Sachin’s 100th Ton…

…And the wait continues!!!!!!!
 
Sachin Tendulkar’s dream run for his elusive 100th international century once again ended in failure as he departed just six runs short during the the third Test between India and West Indies in Mumbai on Wankhede Stadium which was rumoured to be tailor made for a date with the history.

Wankhede Stadium was packed with expectant crowd and the stage seemed perfectly set for Tendulkar to reach the unprecedented feat in his home city. News channels, Brands, Leaders, MCA, Sports-persons and everyone connected or non connected to the game had prepared well in advance  to celebrate this national success. Gift galore was waiting for the ‘D’ moment. But Alas and alack everything that is planned the way it should go doesn’t always go the same way. Today was no different. God’s adoring fans went morgue like stunned silent when, after racing to 94, he edged Ravi Rampaul to Darren Sammy at second slip. There was a pindrop silence and nobody could believe what their eyes had seen. Twitterspace went berserk with ”oh no, not again” tweets. The trending topic of the day was Sachin missing his 100th ton and nothing else. The fear of follow-on was nothing compared to Sachin not reaching his landmark.

Yes, we all know that it has been 11 matches (Tests and ODIs) since Sachin Tendulkar has scored a century and he might be facing nervous 90′s syndrome for this final century. The expectations around the great man getting to the landmark are huge and every failure to get there – even if his innings was a good one – comes with its share of criticism from everybody and anybody. People forget his contributions to the game and start talking like ‘Sachin should retire now’, ‘Sachin isn’t a match winner’ and ‘He’s selfish, he plays only for his records’. No one cares about the match winning innings he plays. Everyone seems to be waiting with bated breath for Sachin’s hundred so much that they forgot how important it is playing for a nation than playing for records. We are a country obsessed with records and statistics – it’s a hundred and no less that is expected from Sachin every time he comes with a bat. A stellar batting effort when it’s most required, would hold absolutely no value in relation to a scratchy 100 on a belter of a track.

I think it’s time that we recondition ourselves to take 100th hundred as just another milestone, not one that merits so much hype. Understandably, not just India but the whole cricket playing world is crazy about Sachin Tendulkar and his great achievements, the milestone is a dream come true – 100 is a magical number in cricket, one that is a distant dreams for most of the players to dream forget achieving it. However, we need to think hard if this milestone is really so important for a man to achieve who is considered to be God in Cricket. Sachin still has the highest number of hundreds, runs and matches to his name. We don’t really need the hundredth hundred to tell us how great Sachin is, do we?

India’s top priority right now in Tests should be to perform well in Australia and get back the No. 1 ranking so that all of us can forget the debacle at England.  India’s winning streak is far more important than Sachin’s ton.

Sachin is now considered a public property and everyone thinks they have a full right to scrutinize his life and career. The so called critics wait for every opportunity to pounce on him and pass their verdict on how Sachin is no more fit to play and should retire. These have hardly affected the man, but perhaps for the first time he looks vulnerable. Having averaged a brilliant 78+ in Tests last year, Sachin’s average has dropped to the forties since his last century.

Also, we are so obsessed with Sachin’s 100th ton that we just turn a blind eye towards other great players contributions and achievements. Why Dravid’s consistent performance is never talked about? Why Ashwin’s all round performance didn’t get it’s fair share? We should not forget that cricket is a team game and we should not single out a person for our praises and criticism.

It’s time we become SPORTS LOVING NATION and not just STATS LOVING NATION. We should stop pressurising Sachin for his around-the-corner ton. The 100th ton proves nothing except his greatness which has already been said, written and discussed. Great team performance is far more important than achieving a personal goal and if Sachin helps India get there with a ton, fantastic!

The Sense of an Ending – Julian Barnes

“Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.” - Sir Francis Bacon

Julian Barnes’ ferocious new novel ‘The Sense of an Ending’, is one such book which is to be read wholly and savoured. It is a book that stays with you long after you have finished reading it.  No wonder Barner has been awarded Man Booker Prize 2011 for this book. It is a book that will universally appeal to all ages. It is like a piece of poetry laced with mystery that engages, manipulates, wheedles and churns for our undivided attention and love. What makes this book extremely enchanting is its beautiful style of writing and choice of words that is so rare these days. No wonder Julian Barnes is such a decorated writer today. His novel is filled with gems like:

• “When we are young, we invent different futures for ourselves; when we are old, we invent different pasts for others.”
• “History isn’t the lies of the victors … It’s more the memories of the survivors, most of whom are neither victorious nor defeated.”  
• "History is that certainty produced at the point where the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation.” 
• “Marriage is a long dull meal with the pudding served first.”
• “Life is a gift bestowed without anyone asking for it; that the thinking person has a philosophical duty to examine both the nature of life and the conditions it comes with; and that if this person decides to renounce the gift no one asks for, it is a moral and human duty to act on the consequences of that decision.”

There are few but strongly etched characters – Tony, Adrian & Veronica. Tony who have lived an ordinary life: stable job, marriage, amicable divorce, child who grew up to have a child of her own. Adrian, Tony’s school friend with a philosophical bent of mind and clarity of thoughts. Adrian’s indifference to playing it cool somehow made him the leader of the boys’ clique when they were teenagers. Veronica, an elusive and enigmatic girl who was Tony’s first girlfriend.

Tony Webster, a peaceable, divorced man in his 60s receives an unexpected bequest from a woman, Mrs. Ford, he’d met only once, 40 years earlier. The mother of his college girlfriend, Veronica, has bequeathed him £500 — a legacy that unsettles Tony, pushing him to get in touch with Veronica (his first girlfriend with whom his relationship had ended badly) and seek answers to certain unresolved questions.

He tries to rediscover and unravel his own emotions and relations that he had long forgotten. Gradually, Tony assembles his willfully forgotten past impressions and actions, joining together the links that might explain how it happened that his life’s modest wages had resulted in “the accumulation, the multiplication, of loss.

Tony enters college and starts dating Veronica. Their relationship suddenly fizzles. When Tony discovers Adrian has begun dating his ex-girlfriend, he dashes off a letter of unapologetic nastiness causing the reader to recast the first half of the book. Decades earlier, Tony had accused Veronica of an “inability to imagine anyone else’s feelings or emotional life,” but it was he, not she, who was incapable of looking outside his own head.

“The Sense of an Ending” is a short book, but not a slight one. This short, unlikely novel is a page-turner. You arrive at its conclusion breathless and befuddled, duped into the idea that a life’s conclusion brings some kind of wisdom. Not always.

A MUST read for the people who think books are just not meant for time pass but are a way of life.

Go for it NOW and you’ll not be disappointed

Single in the Sin City

I recall the day when first time I ventured out of my protective home  to enter the big bad world all alone. My parents were more anxious than me. They were worried how their pampered and ‘touch me not’ daughter will survive in the debauched world.
Nonetheless, sitting today here in Delhi all by myself, I have not only survived it but have managed to learn the quick payback tricks too. I am now a quintessential DILLIWALI who is ruthless yet with a golden heart


I am no more wary of walking down an insanely crowded road. I am used to Delhi’s heat sitting in my AC car, home and office. I stay in posh colony where except for my immediate two neighbours I have no clue about the rest. Neither they are bothered about me nor I am bothered about them.

On one hand I haggle with a rickshaw-walla over a fifteen rupees, and on the other hand I don’t  even think for a second before blowing away thousands on drinks. I have lot of convenient friends to spend my weekends and few close friends to share my thoughts.
I drive down in a concrete jungle from one flyover to another. Traffic snarls have stopped being a burden. I stop at a red light, with children begging and saying aapki jodi bani rahe with my colleague sitting next to me. We look at each other startled and laugh out loudly. I hurl abuses at the pedestrians who keep crossing the roads without looking at the red lights and think that it’s car drivers duty only to avoid accidents and not theirs.

I go to Lajpat Nagar to buy my home stuff like all others. I shoulder away random men who can’t help walking too close. I shrug, and just keep on walking. I see people fighting and I do not stop to find out why. I fight for my space in an overcrowded city that is everyday making headlines for it’s notorious acts.
Every time there is a bomb blast or any infamous incident panic calls starts pouring in from my parents and well wishers. I try to convince them saying I am absolutely safe.

Deep down under I know I am staying in a SIN CITY that has made me a SINNER too in some way.

Welcome the new lease of our lives – my nephew!!!!!!!

So finally the long wait was over. And it was all worth it. On 15th Nov 2011 my nephew descended on earth and filled our lives with love and happiness.
Till today afternoon we were all hyper tensed. I was one nervous bundle, admittedly. I kept praying that my bhabhs (sister-in-law) safely deliver a healthy baby. More than my bhabhs i was worried for my bro since he’s the feeble hearted. He can bear all professional pressures with ease but when it comes to sensitive issues then he goes ballistic. My bhabhs is a strong lady and can endure any kind of pain but bro is a delicate darling Nonetheless all goes well that ends well.
I had a busy day today but the entire time my heart was in London. Throughout the meetings I kept looking at my mobile. My ears were yearning to hear the good news. And finally in the afternoon I got the good news. As I heard those magical words my heart just took a flight and transported me next to my nephew. I was ecstatic and there could have been nothing better that could have made me happier that time. My eyes were filled with ‘khushi ke aansoon’ when I first heard the news. I could see him smile to me, hold my finger and look into my eyes with those shiny lovely eyes.
I haven’t met my nephew yet but I am madly in love with him. I love his eyes, his toothless smile, his laugh, his silly faces, I love everything about him. I am so wanting to be next to him right now that I can’t describe in words. I just want to watch him throughout the day throughout the life. I can’t put into words how much I love him so I can’t even imagine how much more bhabhs and bro do. I absolutely love being an aunt.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a parent, but I know one thing for sure, I was destined to be an Aunt!  Nothing has brought me more joy! I am truly blessed!

Slow down a bit…

Every time I see McDonalds ‘Slow Down’ commercial I feel it is telling me something and I must listen to it.
Kudos to the team that worked on this ad. I won’t say that it’s a brilliant piece of creative but it has stuck cords to the people for whom it is targeted at. Although this ad doesn’t motivate me to go to McDonald’s and buy McFlurry oreo ice cream but it does make me think about my life. We all live mechanically timed lives wherein we have actually forgotten to live the life the way it should be lived. We are in a mad rush to achieve our tight deadlines. We are living a life on tight rope. How many of us really have not compromised our personal lives for the sake of professional responsibilities.Not many I guess.
Engrossed with work and depression we don’t realise what we are loosing in the process of running after money and success. Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara captured the psyche of today’s generation in a beautiful way.  ‘LET YOURSELF GO’  is what all of us need to do. We must find the pleasure in everyday life and not depend on half yearly or annual holidays in exotic locations. We must know how to balance personal or professional life otherwise we will burn out too soon. Pursue your interest, whether it is singing, dancing, photography, teaching, travel, whatever it is just go for it. Don’t wait for the right moment. Right moment in NOW.
I too have decided to pursue my interests. First thing I am gonna do is enroll myself for the dance classes.
Yipppeeeee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQLwR0Tu8GA

Vettel’s gift to Hamilton – Abu Dhabi F1 Grand Prix!!!!!!!

Fortune finally smiled on Lewis Hamilton on the penultimate race of the season when he won the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix as Sebastian Vettel’s luck ran out. The McLaren driver made the most of the spin Vettel suffered exiting the very first corner of the race at the Yas Marina Circuit. Vettel suffered a right rear puncture and was forced to retire for the first time this season. So Vettel’s dream attempt to match Michael Schumacher’s record of 13 victories in a single season shattered in the first lap itself. It was a big ‘oh-no’ moment for fans like me who were betting high on Vettel since he equaled the maximum pole position record set by Nigel. Yesterday only Vettel had snatched pole from Hamilton by just 0.141 seconds but Hamilton had been performing strongly here all weekend and ran a controlled race to capture his third win of the season to match Button. During yesterday’s press conference it was evident that Lewis Hamilton had victory on his mind and he wasn’t his effervescent self but determined to win. On the other hand Vettel was hoping to win this time around too. But hoping and winning are two different things. Anyways Vettel’s loss was Hamilton’s gain. The Englishman had lost out on victory at its inaugural 2009 race when he was forced to retire. There was some irony, then, that Vettel, who won the two previous races, retired to gift Hamilton the lead. It was one of my best races – to hold off one of the best drivers in the world is very tough to do Lewis Hamilton It was really sweet to see Hamilton dedicating his win to his mother Carmen. Hamilton’s victory was his third of 2011 but much-needed in the context of a difficult season he had had, who was criticised for the number of collisions he has been involved in this year. Hamilton took the chequered flag comfortably ahead of Ferrari’s Fernnado Alonso, with his another team-mate Jenson Button claiming the third podium place.

It was a rare sight not to find any Redbull driver on the podium since Button finished third ahead of Webber. Webber ran in third for much of the race but the he was switched to a three-stop strategy and ran until the final lap before making his obligatory stop for the harder ‘medium’ tyres, which put him back behind Button for the final podium place. Till the 54th lap I was hoping to see at least one Redbull team member on the podium but I guess it’s not always in their hands.I am not too happy seeing my favourite star not winning this much expected to win race but that’s why sports are so unpredictable. I am now hopeful that he makes up for this loss in the last race of the season – Brazil Grand Prix.

wish there was no yesterday!!!!!

Yesterday was a day which you think should not exist in your week because everything that was supposed to go right went wrong. But thank god it was yesterday and not today or tomorrow (i hope )
So the day started with me waking up with a splitting headache. A headache that pushed my body hard not to move out of my bed, forget going to the office. However, responsibilities won over body urge. And I woke up to find out that my maid hasn’t turned up for the fourth consecutive day. Ok so one more day to do without breakfast, lunch and dinner. One more day to live on the canteen food. Anyways that’s not a big concern for me since i am hardly a foodie. In fact i can do without food for days.
Next i had this doctor appointment at Apollo. I was running late, thanks to the number of daily visitors dropping at my place – doodhwala, paperwala, kachrewala, gaadiwala etc. My appointment was at 9am but being in tune with the  Indian tradition of reaching late i managed to reach by 9.30am. In the meantime i got 3 calls from the doctor’s staff since other appointments were getting affected by my late coming. After getting into Apollo (it’s more like a seven star hotel) i struggled for parking. God knows itne log bimar kyun padte hain? Anyways after parking my laalpari I zoomed into the hospital, made the payment. It was quite expensive for a first visit: Rs. 1100/-. Now it was Doctor sahib’s turn to make me pay for coming late by giving me lot of gyan on life, reasons of headaches and how we should avoid stress etc. etc. Doc if I could do that then i would not come to u. Anyways he gave me lot of gyan and very less relief. As even after 36hrs my headache has still not gone.
Ok so I reached office to figure out that the meeting that was supposed to happen at 11.30 am would not happen at that time because the taxi that was to pick up my colleague at 9.30am from his residence in Indirapuram has not reached his place till 11am and I wasn’t even informed about the same. I took pants off of my guard. Poor guy must be shivering even now. So thanks to taxi brake down I couldn’t leave for my meeting on time. And on my first client meeting i got labeled as a late comer who doesn’t respect others time. Anyways the meeting got postponed to 1.30m.
We reached at 1.30. But i didn’t know what animal i was to face before the meeting started. I had never met a dumber person than what i did that day. 5minutes into the meeting and i was thinking to bang my head to a wall instead of talking to that mindless chick who had no clue what she was talking and what we were there for. She had the most grumpiest face in the world. A typical Punjabi Bagh aunty with lot of bling on. I feel pity for the companies who hire such dumbos. Anyways i somehow wrapped up my meeting at 4pm. Now can you believe it the journey that should have taken not more than an hour took three hours to reach to office. I was going nuts when i reached office. And then the day didn’t end there as there was a blooper waiting on my other client. So i had to do be the fire fighter. My day finally ended at 12.30pm next day.
It was a horrible day and I almost fought with everyone. I wish i see no more such days in my life. And god if you can save me then please save me from this chick. She can really drive me crazy and am really scared of that to happen. Please GOD HELP ME. Plssssssssssssssssssssssss

jutice katju

 
“The media is anti-people… it divides the country” Justice Katju He made the remarks in an interview to Karan Thapar on CNN-IBN over the weekend.
Since yesterday the entire electronic media has gone into a frenzy over his remark. Most of the editors and their councils have come out with a scathing condemnation of Press Council of India chairman Justice Markandey Katju’s “ill-considered, sweeping and uninformed comments on the media,” alleging that they “touched a new low.”
However, the people at large, especially if you see the twitterspace,  resonate with what Justice Katju has said. All of us know that electronic media is like a giant super-robot which can turn fortunes overnight. It can make or break anyone within few hours of breaking a story. But as said in Spiderman with great power comes great responsibility, media too needs a regulatory body that can separate good journalism from vandalism. Why should media base its stories on the basis of which story can generate maximum TRPs? Why Manipur still struggles for its basic right while SRK 46th birthday is a lead story covered universally by all channels? Why channels are imposing their point of view on we the people? Their job is to bring the news to us and let us decide what’s wrong or right. They should stop being judgmental. The current crop of Brakha Dutt, Arnab Goswami, Rajdeep Sardesai, Karan Thapar are too opinionated and arrogant. The same behaviour is evident in their programmes. We have seen how media manipulates stories for its own benefits even in movies like Peepli Live & No one killed Jessica. Why no channel has shown a programme that is supporting Justice Katju’s remark? Let this be an unbiased debate and not driven by personal vendata.
What Justice Katju is demanding is fair and not  asking for draconian powers for the Press Council. The Media is supposed to be fighting for people. Instead all it cares is TRP and is usually on the rolls of one political party or another. The way news are presented often causes problems rather than solving it. There has to be regulation for it. What’s wrong on imposing fines, withdrawing advertisements and suspending publication licences, if any media crosses its limit and misleads the people. It’s very well justified.
Let’s support him.

Let go!

Sometimes, no matter how hard you treasure someone, they’ll never treasure you back the way you do, and sometimes, you have to be okay with that.

In the process of loving and committing ourselves to the other person the worst mistake that we do is to completely forget about our own identity and start relying on the other person completely. We forget that the most important thing in a relationship is mutual respect for each other and that the other persona shouldn't start disrespecting your feelings and take you for granted. Because to stay true to oneself is the most important thing in a relationship.

We think that we are always at the receiving end in all kind of relationships. Sometimes, no matter how hard u treasure someone, they’ll never treasure u back the way u do, and sometimes, you have to be okay with that. At such a juncture in my life when we lose faith in every and any kind of relationship we end up thinking that maybe there’s something horribly wrong.

Letting that feeling creep in is the worst punishment that anybody can give himself. We should introspect but never suspect our self. Instead we should figure out a solution to give it back to the undeserving people who hurt us because after all  life is too precious to be wasted on people who don’t care for us.

Let the quest to discover oneself begins from here on!!!!!!!!!!!!!