Express yourself

Reading these two words what comes to your mind - Airtel ad.

Not bad for a brand to create such a superb brand recall. Kudos to the team who worked on this campaign. It's one of my all time favourite campaign

Coming back to our post idea - Express Yourself.

These are  not just any two words but they define the course of your life.

What hurts more?

Saying something and then regretting why you said it 

or 

Not saying anything and then regretting why you didn't say it?

My vote goes for the second one. Why should you hide your feelings for any darn thing. God gave us the art of speech and expression so that we can express ourselves freely. What if it hurts later. It's ok atleast you'll not live with a grudge that you didn't let it out.

Even if no one is listening to you then also butt it out. You never know God might be too busy and might need a second reminder.

Scores of songs, stories, advertisements, films have been written on 'EXPRESS YOURSELF' theme.

Some of my favourite ones are - Madonna's Express Yourself song, Airtel campaign and Lady Gaga's 'Born this way' song which in a way echos the same thought.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg47SNWvu0g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lypkFQ3bPg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV1FrqwZyKw&ob=av2e

So why is it so important to express yourself?

Well expressing yourself is as important as breathing, eating, sleeping or loving.

You have to be real and not fake because fake doesn't last for long. If you want the relationship of your dreams, you gotta feel good enough about yourself to be real.

It’s pretty easy to start a relationship but difficult to sail through.

Here’s where the sticky part comes in: What do you do the first time you feel angry and you are scared to express yourself as you might get labelled as a bitch?

So you say nothing. You swallow how you really feel and come back for more of that “easy” relationship.
But what is it like being in that relationship now?
• Do you feel the same love you felt in the beginning?
• Do you feel hurt, confused, unhappy, just ok, kind of shut down?
• Do you want to spend less and less time with your significant other?
• Do you resent doing the things for your partner/friend/family you used to do happily?
• Do you sometimes feel, “If this is how it’s going to be, then I’m better off alone?”

Is this the way to have a relationship? What went wrong?

Well...you started the relationship on a wrong foot. You didn't EXPRESS YOURSELF and that's why you feel so burdened.

Somehow, somewhere, our middle class values have taught us to be nice. To be nice you have to stuff your anger deep inside somewhere and hide it away, or you won’t be nice.

But this is the biggest blunder we do. Not expressing yourself without any guilt has far worse repercussions than what we presume.

To be fully whole and fully supportive of yourself, you have to allow yourself to have and express your feelings – appropriately, of course. And that includes anger.

It will help your relationship blossom like never before.

Have you ever watched a baby express himself? If he is angry, he'll howl at the top of his voice to make the entire household go into a tizzy but as soon as he is comforted or had his diaper changed or is fed, he is happy again. No stuck feelings.

Same way we are conditioned to express ourselves through various emotions. We should not allow any bad feelings make their home in our heart because eventually they will hurt us the most than anyone else. Stuffing your anger away,will not work. It will create more anger, resentment, arguments, and will have upsets of every variety.

So people SPEAK IT OUT EVEN IF SOMEONE CARES TO LISTEN TO YOU OR NOT. JUST VENT IT OUT.

An open letter to online Romeos

Flattery and flirting is an art that can win a woman's heart but can also antagonise her for life if not done properly. 

The important thing is how you paint the art. Unfortunately most of the men fail miserably in this art, especially in the digital world.

Times have changed when it comes to flirting with women. In just 10 years, online social networking sites with instant messengers have become valuable tools for meeting women. Just as there are strategies for flirting with women at clubs, parties, or get togethers, so are there strategies for flirting with women online. But alas hardly anyone knows the rules of the game.

This post is dedicated to all the online Romeos who think that every girl is on internet just for them. And this comes right from some personal experiences too.

Sometimes I have avoided these Romeos by laughing out at them, sometimes gave them my piece of mind, sometimes just turned a blind eye towards them. But none of this has deterred them a bit. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me or every girl faces this wrath.

First of all let me tell you about myself. I am a very average, in fact below average, looking girl-next-door. I am not the spunky one. I am neither very intelligent nor very quirky. In a nutshell, I am a very average average girl. I don't write any explicit messages on my wall. I don't have pretty DP on my profile. In spite of that I don't know why boys come floundering like beehive. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with me. Anyways this post isn't about me but my experiences. So let me get straight to the point.

I remember the YAHOO/MSN MESSENGER days when just after a girl responded to your hi the pet dialogue of the desperadoes used to be “what are your vitals”. It used to be so unnerving that I stopped using messengers after some time. On top of that the online Romeos were too desperate and bhaiya kinds without any knowhow of English. And I can tolerate anything but not bad language. You should know what to write and how to write. What baffled me was how these guys used to get your email ids which I have not yet figured out. That’s a puzzle still waiting to be solved. Maybe some guys can shed some light on this.

Then came the era of ORKUT. It was a great site since it gave you an opportunity to connect with your old lost pals from schools and colleges but it got misused by these online Romeos as anyone could write or see what was there on your wall without your consent. All weirdos jumped onto the bandwagon  and started sending stupid messages. And it just didn’t stop there, every other day there used to be a story of picture morphing which scared the shit out of me. Strangers became supremely clingy and hounded you until death. Suddenly the old school sherro-shayri became hip and found its way on your walls. Initially we tried ignoring them for some time but since the online romeos didn’t budge from their stand therefore sensible people like me left Orkut for the lesser mortals.

And then came the social networking revolution - FACEBOOK. Facebook changed the definition of friendship. Profile picture became the basis for friendship. If you have a pretty face then be assured you'll have a huge friend circle out of which you'll not know even a fraction of them personally. In Facebook era there's nothing called Six degrees of separation but there's no thing as separation. Everyone is everyone's friend. So what if you have never spoken to each other. If you'll start accepting all friend requests then be assured that you'll not get a spare moment to do anything else but to update status messages, make comments on friend's walls etc. Online Romeos will comment on your personal pictures as if they were there with you when you got those pictures clicked. They would behave as if they can read your mind. They would share PJs thinking that have a great sense of humour. You'll try and ignore them for some time. They'll send you a random game requests, will throw a sheep at you, poke you, send farmville requests and what not. Facebook is still better since it gives the control in your hand. If you see someone trying to be over friendly with you then you just need to unfriend him. SIMPLE!

TWITTER is the latest baby that is being abused quite a lot by Online Romeos. A person will follow you and will have nothing interesting to tweet about but would want to chat with you and would expect you to reply to his lame requests. Come on all you weirdos take a break. Don't you get the message loud and clear - that you either have it or you don't. Why do you try so hard when you know it's not going to work? Twitter as the name suggests is for the people who can tweet with a 'wit'. You need to be interesting enough for a person to follow you and not necessarily good looking. Brain and humour is the key. Most of the 'beauty with brains' look for this combination in boys. So if you have it then flaunt it. And be rest assured that you'll not fall in the category of Online Romeos.

In a nutshell whatever digital age we have lived in, ONLINE ROMEOS are a constant everywhere. Everything can change but not them. They would take their chances at every and any XX. Most of the online Romeos are crazy people who probably wants a healthy normal person to validate their craziness. Since we girls are intelligent sex and don't want to end up being crazy therefore we run away from such weirdos and head for more peaceful waters.

The most unattractive personality trait in men is desperation.  Over emotional and over friendly men are a big no no. Once we realize that a man is just looking to be with someone… anyone, it makes us want to run away miles from him.

Desperation in a man is pathetic.  Someone just looking to be attached sets off so many red flags with me I can’t even stand to talk to him. I am sure most of us would have got many friendship or dating proposals on our first online encounters. Such proposals scare the shit out of me. It is insecure and emotionally unstable. Women do not want a man who just wants someone. They want men who want her and know why.

I want to request all these Online Romeos to take it slowly and not rush into anything. When someone makes himself too accessible, too willing to jump into a relationship, we question him. We wonder how anyone could like us this much this soon. We immediately devalue those people. But when we’re crazy about someone and show it, we want that person to reciprocate. Can’t we just be REAL with each other? Isn’t that what it’s all about?

I don’t see anything wrong if someone casually drops in a line saying “Hi, how’s your day going?” “Check out this video?” That’s not necessarily clingy or desperate. But to start planning a date with someone you just met and don’t even really know yet? That IS desperate, and in a way, scary.

So boys shed your online romeo image and get some intelligence and humour in place :-)

Appreciate to be happy :)

"Appreciation  is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well"  - Voltaire
 
Simple yet so thoughtful.

Little things that we do have great bearings on our life and relations.

So much is happening around us. Everything is changing so fast. Do we feel it? Do we appreciate it?

I am writing on appreciation today because this topic came up during a discussion yesterday when one of my team member was complaining and threatening to quit over the bad behaviour of one of our client. Her complaint was not that she was overloaded with work from the Client but the thankless and whining attitude of the Client. So in a nutshell the problem was not the complaining client but Client's lack of appreciation  when the poor girl was slogging out.

I handle different Clients and at the base level their working style is almost identical but still some of them are really loved and some are really hated. If given a choice most of the team members in my company will be willing to work on Client B than Client A. Not because Client B buys whatever we try to sell them or don't add to the chaos but simply because they are more forthcoming to acknowledge their mistakes and appreciate our efforts. That's a very basic difference between both the Client that makes the hell lot of difference on the motivation of the people working on these clients.

Appreciation is an art that all of us learn over time. A little extra becomes flattery or sometimes even ass licking which should be avoided. A little less becomes indifference which no one likes.

Appreciation like other emotions has strong vibration like that of love, hate, anger, joy, harmony, or any other emotion that we experience everyday in our life. What we feel gets communicated to others and gets reflected in their behavior towards others.

We all are simple human beings looking earnestly for love and appreciation in little things we do.

Appreciation walks hand in hand with love, understanding, honour, gratitude, delight. It is composed of these separate qualities and, like them, must be expressed. When you appreciate life, you appreciate God’s role in creating circumstances that make you feel good.

We should try and appreciate everything - good or bad. Good because it feels good, the bad because you learn something about your self, and life. Appreciation raises you up, like a lighthouse beckoning the ship to shore. There is no lack in appreciation, for appreciation flows through enlightenment.

Nobody is good or bad by birth. All of us have good and evil side in us. It's up to us what we want to become. Human beings become difficult to handle when we forget to empathise and appreciate others.

Dark forces do not appreciate – not themselves, not their allies, and certainly not their God.

We should appreciate our selves and each other. When we appreciate our experiences we raise ourselves above the temptations that can easily sway us from our goals.

 Appreciate your Self! This act alone brings gifts of love, life and wealth into your daily experience. 

 Lastly but most importantly I would like to thank you for taking out time from your busy schedule to read my blog. It really means a lot :)

 
 Today is a gift that's why they call it a PRESENT.

The Shiva Triology - Immortals of Meluha & The Secret of the Nagas

A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end.  You live several lives while reading it.  ~William Styron

The Shiva Trilogy is one such series which leaves you asking for more. You can't wait to read the next book after you have finished reading one. While reading the trilogy you live the life of the characters. You feel their pain, anger, happiness, doubts. You create a mental picture about something and suddenly you realise there's  more than what meets the eye. The twists and turns of the trilogy makes it a compelling read.

First of all let me tell you how I got my hands on this series. My colleagues literally forced me into buying this book. Though I had a cursory glance of the book in flipkart's bestsellers but I didn't intend to buy it considering this was not my kind of reading. I am not a great fan of mythology or history.

To be frank, I was taken aback a bit at first. A marijuana smoking Shiva uttering words like 'Dammit', and expressing his love for Sati explicitly came in as a surprise. Maybe, what I liked in the book was also the same- a shiva who was more of a human than a mythical God, a Shiva with all the confusions and oddities in behaviour that are characteristic of humans. 

The Immortals of Meluha is the first novel of the Shiva trilogy series. The first book takes you through the concept of ‘idealistically ideal' Meluha kingdom run by King Daksha of ‘Suryavanshi’ community. Meluhans are followers of Lord Ram who staunchly follow rules and ideals set by Lord Ram. Every Meluhan, right from their king to a Vikram, is pinning all their hopes of redemption on the arrival of a blue-throated man from a foreign land. Shiva empathises with Meluhans and support them in their war against the Chandravanshis, who are believed to be helping Nagas, an evil and cursed group. However, in his journey and the resulting war, Shiva learns how his decision actually was not perfectly right in the true sense, and how it led to dire consequences. His definition of ideal or evil way of life takes a beating. He is in a unhappy state when he should be rejoicing his success. This confusion of thoughts act like a precursor to the next book. 

The gritty and heartening style of writing works well, being the page turner that the book is, setting the context, fixing the geography and etching the characters for the next parts of the trilogy. Right from the start, the book is a page turner, gripping you more with every chapter. Every character in the book is properly etched out without ever compromising on the plot. Never ever there is a dull moment when you are reading it. The plot thickens as you reach towards the end. The last page throws a complete surprise at you and you can’t do anything but wait to read the second book. 

Thankfully I didn’t have to wait since I had ordered both the books together :)

 

'The Secret of Nagas' takes off right where the first book left off, landing you in the middle of some serious action. From here the true picture of evil starts getting painted. Amish doesn’t get judgmental about  the typical 'black & white' picturisation of good and evil.  He doesn’t give any clear cut demarcations of good or evil. Just when you decide in your mind that "here comes the bad guy!", the story takes a sharp curve revealing a completely new side of the 'bad guy'. Every coin has two sides – good and evil. Nothing is totally good or bad. Even Shiva is not infallible. He’s vulnerable and prone to uncontrolled and misdirected anger. In ‘The Immortals of Meluha’, you are led to believe that Meluhans are the perfect community who should be saved at any cost. Then in the second book slowly, you get to see their darker side that probably stems  from insane levels of perfection. You also see that Chandravanshis or Nagas are not evil but they merely practice a different style of living. In fact you feel sympathetic towards Nagas since they have been subjected to evil than being evil themselves. And you are suddenly thinking from an entirely different perspective.

There are some gems like

• "the opposite of love is not hate. Hate is just love gone bad. The actual opposite of love is apathy" 
• “A person's ethics and character are not tested in good times. It is only in bad times that a person shows how steadfast he is to his dharma.” 
• “Whether a man is a legend or not is decided by history, not fortune tellers.” 
• “A man becomes a Mahadev, only when he fights for good. A Mahadev is not born from his mother's womb. He is forged in the heat of battle, when he wages a war to destroy evil. Har Har Mahadev - All of us are Mahadev.”

Overall it's a good reading experience. The language is simple and not too flowery therefore it might not appeal to the connoisseurs of language.

However, I give a thumbs up to this book as it is a good dose of mythology wrapped and served  in modern appetizing way.

Happy reading. Can't wait for the third one to come.

Here is a link to the promotional videos of the Shiva Trilogy. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMZmEyDU0xA&feature=related