Being a woman sports fan.

When you have grown up in a family where your favourite pastime is to watch sports, mind it sports not cricket, then you are bound to develop an interest in sports by default. Our dinner table discussions revolved around Azhar, Kapil, Ajay Jadeja, PT Usha, Leaner Paes, Prakash Padukone and very rarely Shanti, Svetlana could find place in our discussions. Guess coming from an army background changes your outlook towards life and the activities you indulge into. Although, I was more into watching than playing and that’s perhaps the reason why height didn't favour me. Anyways it's no surprise that I grew up to become an avid sports fan.

Barring my folks and friends, people still "test" me day in and day out on my sports knowledge. They still can’t come to terms that a girl can like sports too. Agreed, there are lesser number of women sports persons but that shouldn't be the reason for me not liking sports. Maybe I have more of my father in my genes. Or maybe I have a boy’s soul in a girl’s body :) I am sure reading that statement crazy ideas would be going in your mind. But rest your imagination horses.

Now let’s come back to the topic of being a woman sports fan.

The barrage of question would start with "Oh, really, you like sports?" and then there will be a tsunami of questions to test my knowledge, to prove myself if I was genuinely interested in sports or was I just faking to impress guys or just to stand out from other girls.

Once I would pass the first hurdle, the bar would be set higher for me. Stats, records, rules, players all will be tested. Believe you me, a life of a female fan is not easy and it’s damn difficult to fit into a male-dominated sports culture. Fandom is not measured by loyalty towards a team, but by the knowledge of statistics, players and history. Even though off late, more female fans have started following sports but still women are not fully accepted as equal-status fans by our male counterparts. We are still looked upon as lesser beings. Recently an avid sports fan indirectly made a pass at me saying that I don’t understand football at all and I made him think that Keys and Gray were right about what they have said about female sports fans. Here’s what Keys and Gray are reported to have said about Massey:

“Somebody better get down there and explain offside to her,” said Keys.
“Can you believe that? A female linesman. Women don’t know the offside rule,” said Gray.
Keys replied “Course they don’t. I can guarantee you there will be a big one today. Kenny (Dalglish) will go potty. This isn’t the first time, is it? Didn’t we have one before?” And then he added “The game’s gone mad. Did you hear charming [West Ham vice-chairwoman] Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism? Do me a favour, love.”

Though I was initially hurt to read his comment but later on I reconciled to the fact that even if I know nothing about the game, it should not deter me from following the game  I love so much. Since I have not followed football from my childhood therefore my knowledge cannot be compared with them. I am a slow learner but let me learn it my way not your way. Why should I be made fun of? Doesn't this mindset reek of male chauvinism in a milder avatar. But I have no complaints since everyone is entitled to his opinion. I will do what I feel is right and you can do what you feel is right. So, what is it that makes men feel so fidgety about accepting women as sport fans? Maybe it has got to do with them being misogynist :) (a hot favourite word of one of my tweep friend these days). There could be multiple reasons. I could think of few:

• Sports fell into male territory. My limited knowledge from history books, movies suggest that sports were considered to be an activity for the alpha members of the family. Outdoor activities which included hunting and sports were clearly a male domain. Female encroachment wasn't acceptable and was considered as trespassing. 

• Men and women consume sports differently and speak a different language. For women, it's a sensory experience that ends with the match, except for some unforgettable ones like Ind-Pak CWC match or France-Italy WC football final match or Djokovic-Nadal Australian open final. However, for men, it’s more to do with cerebral experience. For them match doesn't end with the match. In fact it’s a beginning to those endless discussions. They love to discuss games threadbare. The pregame analysis, the post game analysis, dressing room politics, team selection etc. Collecting sports knowledge, is as important as the game itself. Whosoever possesses the maximum knowledge has one-upmanship in his group. If you are not into sports, you are not man enough. You are sissy.

• Other reason could be sport is the only arena left for men to express their masculinity, besides in the bed ;) They think the fairer sex is a weaker sex and cannot play/watch sports for long. They think women don’t have the brains and patience to think beyond their kitty parties. But excusez-moi you are completely wrong.

• Stereotyping is what everybody loves to do. Most of the Indian men have grown up in households where their sisters or mothers have not watched sports. Therefore men tend to generalize that women can’t play sports. Infact our movies like Kutch Kutch Hota Hai have reinforced the same by saying “Girls can’t play basketball”. Even brands like Gatorade, Nike, redbull, Cinthol, that have taken sportiness as their advertising plank, always resort to taking male models simply because that’s the common perception. 

• No women sports culture. Women are not promoted to play sports. In childhood when boys play cricket, girls play hide and seek, tippi-tippi-tap, gudiya-gudiya, posham-pa, stappu, ludo etc. Basically all games that don’t involve physical activities. And since they don’t play sports therefore understanding, relating and liking them doesn't fit into their scheme of things. They feel out of place when boys discuss sports.

• Men don’t watch women spots because they think women aren't good enough and are no match to men competition. However, men do watch women's tennis. But that’s probably because there’s ample skin show. Since they don’t think too highly of women sports persons therefore they somehow perceive that women can’t be good even as spectators.

The reasons could be innumerable but the bottom-line is that Girls are still treated like an outsider in sports discussions, which discomforts me. But slowly and steadily things are changing and men are becoming more open minded. Though,there’s still a long way to go.

I agree I am not as knowledgeable about sports as my male friends are. But I am a die-hard sports fan and I don’t feel ashamed to accept that I tend to know less about numbers and history. Maths has always been my weak area, so please excuse me for not remembering the stats, even though I would consume just as much current sports coverage as my male counterparts would.

I like sports because I can relate to them. I find them more passionate and less dramatic. Sports inspire me to try harder and never give up on my dreams. Every morning, last night’s match provide me the fodder for my office cooler conversation. On match days most of my twitter updates would be about the match. Watching sports and discussing them is a great stress buster for me. It helps in bringing people closer to me. I automatically become friends with people who love sports. It's a bonhomie catalyst for me.

In fact the best part about following sports is that even if you are watching a match alone, you are never alone. The constant conversation in the real or virtual world multiplies the fun of watching sports manifolds. It’s like watching a game with friends even when you are alone. 

I am not the one who watches only highlights but I love to watch the match from beginning to end without flipping the channel. My favourite player choice is not based on his legs, or how cute he looks (but of-course excluding Djokovic :)) but how well he plays his game. I might not know everything about every player or his every move but trust me I would know about the team standings, match summaries, the league standings and but of course the rules. Silly point, mid-off, Bouncer, Center Forward, offside, DRS Wing, backhand, cannonball is not nuclear science to me. I am not scarred to engage in a passion filled argument about the team or player I support. I am definitely not a two minute fan to induct myself into the game simply to score with the guys. You don’t have to bother to explain any rules or tactics unless I ask for. Also, I really hate it when somebody would try to disturb my concentration.

My kind of weekend is not to go out on marathon shopping sessions with my girlfriends but to watch a match. I’ll be very happy if I can see it in a stadium or at a pub. I won’t complain even if I see it at home. I get really animated when I am watching the game. You’ll see me cheering the loudest when my team is winning and when my team is doing badly then I’ll be screaming my lungs out to curse the opposition or the referee.

Boys who complain their girlfriends don’t let them watch matches, should make an effort to involve them in the games they love so much. Once your girl cheer with you, trust me you’ll have lesser reasons to complain and fight. And you’ll live happily ever after :)

To WIN don’t SCREAM

This post is inspired from hoarse criers and silent crusaders.

How many times have we seen the legends boast themselves? 

My guess is NEVER. In fact a legend will never say I AM A LEGEND. 

Tomorrow is one such legend’s birthday – ROGER FEDERER.

The silent crusader who has always let his talent and achievements do the talking. Even when people said that his time is up he didn’t react. He didn't loose his focus and instead kept working hard. And today he’s the greatest player in Tennis with 17 Grand slam titles.

Same is the case with another legend Sachin Tendulkar. He never got bogged down by critics. He always answered them with his superb performances on the field. His bat did the talking.

And then there are people like Mahesh Bhupati & Sania Mirza who made so much hue and cry before the Olympics but at the end what did they achieve? NOTHING

So basically SCREAMING doesn’t mean WINNING.

There was so much noise around Deepika Kumari, Abhinav Bindra, Vijender Singh, Sandip Singh but none of them could convert their expectations into reality.

I am not saying they didn’t give their best. Maybe over expectations got over them.

One great Indian that made us proud today is MARY KOM.

 

Mary Kom had gone through so many hardships – family opposition, mother of twins, from strife-ridden Manipur, without a coach, in a higher weight category still she won us a medal! She never screamed her lungs out to get noticed and even when she played in a higher weight category to a taller, younger and stronger player she didn’t complain. She won a bronze for India but even then she apologized. That speaks a lot about what kind of a person she is.

You might be in great pain but the key is to endure that pain and come out victorious.

There are innumerable examples to elucidate the same. But let me give you one example that you might have not heard about. 

There was a young city girl who was working in the social sector. She went to a remote village that had no phones, no electricity and no sanitation. After spending some months there she came back to the city.

One night while she was fast asleep she suddenly started coughing. She felt something was choking her throat. She had a worst kind of nausea. She tried to cough it out but she couldn’t. After lot of wasted effort she put her fingers in her mouth. Grabbed something gooey in her hands. To her surprise it wasn’t something that she ate that night in the dinner but was a fat, an inch long, squirming creature. 

A normal person would have either screamed seeing that thing come out of her throat or would have flushed it down the toilet. But she neither screamed nor threw it away. Rather she took a pragmatic decision and kept it in a small tin. 

Next day first thing she did was to go to a hospital and showing that creature to the Doctor.

What Doctors told her was quite startling. Thanks to her attentive approach she had avoided a big medical problem that could have worsened with time. While she was in the village she had eggs which often were contracted with worms. Those worms were not visible to the naked eyes but grew much larger in her body. And they had multiplied inside her body. 

Now since the doctors knew the problem in the initial stage only therefore they could do proper medical treatment. If she had screamed and flushed the worm down the toilet, they wouldn’t have known any of that.

So the moral of the story is that if you handle a situation in a mature manner without screaming then results are often overwhelming then what you would get otherwise. 

Even in situations where we think that we are facing a wall, it is better not to scream but think wisely. Getting emotional would not solve any problem but being reasonable would. 

We can turn around and scream and get angry, but we should let it go and MOVE ON.

Lastly it’s easy to write such stuff but very difficult to follow. I am drawing inspiration from Mary Kom, Roger Federer and many other legends. I will try my level best to walk on their path. I am determined to change myself.

YES I AM AND I WILL!!!!!!!!

Burden of expectations

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in HOPE and EXPECTATION.  Eric Hoffer

If only we could stop hoping and expecting then we would not be living a life burdened with expectations. But that's easier said than done. Like death, not expecting is impossible. We get heartbroken because we think only in linear fashion. We expect what is convenient to us or what we want to see or hear. If we don't want to get hurt then we should expect everything so that nothing comes unexpected.

Who would have thought that India would perform so abysmally after being ranked a number one team in tests and winning the world cup? But unfortunately mostly disappointment strike hardest when you don’t expect that thing to happen. That’s why it hurts so much. All of us were thinking that this time India will win India vs. Australia test series hands down but what turned out was horrific state of Indian cricket team.

Every time Sachin goes on the field he gets the loudest cheer from the crowd hoping he’ll hit his 100^th tone but all we get is disappointment. If we expect so much from him then just think how much the little master would be expecting from him. But I guess this over expectation has made this 100^th ton a herculean task.

When Ra.One promos hit the screen we all thought that it will be career defining movie not for SRK but maybe may be for Bollywood too. We all know what happened to the viewers who went to see it. It was again a case of expectations gone haywire.

A small budget movie like Bheja Fry wooed the audiences like anything because it had no expectations attached to it. But when a sequel of the same movie is made it turns out to be a dud.

It’s not that expectations always turn out to be bad.

 

When India hosted the first F1 Grand Prix then everyone was waiting for a showdown to happen and thinking that India will mess up again like we did in CWG but this time around expectations were quashed for better. 

The best way to not get swayed from your goal is not to give in to the pressure of people’s expectations and stay silent.

As Alison McGhee said, “You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging leaping from their mouths. Silence? No.” 

That’s probably the reason why Manmohan Singh got elected second time as Prime Minister when the opposition tried every trick to repudiate him. Now it’s a different story altogeher. The same Government is bowing to every justified and non-justified pressure from its own allies and opposition. They have not been able to perform because they have stoped believing in themselves and have given up to the expectations of others.

In personal matters too we leave a burdened life. Firstly right from childhood we are expected to do well in our studies. As a result most of the children don’t get to enjoy their childhood.

In our job we are expected to perform exceptionally well over and over again. We are bound to fulfill boss’s every expectation Expectations could be as outrageous as cleaning your boss’s dirty linen in private. If he’s having an affair with someone or he’s hitting on you (when he’s married) then you are expected to know/say nothing.

When we are in a relationship then we have to live up to the expectations of our partner not just once but all the times. You fail once and your relationship goes for a toss. If you are unmarried then it’s move on. If you are married then it’s divorce.

I am not against expectations but all I mean to say is that there are two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations. It’s always better to be pleasantly surprised than fatally disappointed.
 

Now I am going to try and live this philosophy. Few expectations that I have lowered are:

·         Expecting Indian Cricket team to win any match outside India

·         Expecting Petrol price will not rise that often

·         Expecting that an Anna can change the fate of the most corrupt nation

·         Expecting to get a good appraisal

·         Expecting that I will not hurt anyone

·         Expecting that I’ll be understood and loved in return

I guess lowering these many expectations could be a good starting point if I am able to achieve them.

Let the mission to ‘LIVE A LIFE’ not ‘LIVE A BURDENED LIFE’ begin from here on!!!!!!!!!