Serendipity - A Gift wrapped Catastrophe

It was 8:30 am and the group of 15 strangers-turned-friends was raring to challenge the mountain and experience a never seen before beauty of Triund Hill - Heaven on earth for nature lovers and trekkers. We knew the 6 kms trek was tough and will challenge not just the city dwellers physical stamina but mental stamina too. Still the enthusiasm was too overpowering to be weighed down by the scare of the obstacles. The enigmatic euphoria made us complete a journey of five hours in just three hours. And the top view was so breathtakingly beautiful that it didn't give our mind any wandering space to let  fatigue or negative thoughts creep in.

After soaking ourselves in the natural beauty, followed by lengthy photo sessions, forever ongoing chat sessions,  the soulful live music jam sessions; we decided to call it a night with grand plans for the next day.

We were all too happy to realise that the movie was actually a thriller not a romcom. The serendipity changed into a nightmare. It was bone-numbing cold out there in the open and we were severely under-prepared. The temperature was  zero degree and our tents were not even ready to face 15 degrees.  In between tossing and turning and shivering in the cold with the background score of a storm and dogs howling on a full moon night, we somehow managed to get over the night. Next day morning, we woke up with happy thoughts of embarking on another 60 minutes trek to witness the most mesmerising sunrise from the highest point - The temple of Shri Kunal Pathri Devi but God had other plans. It started raining and snowing, which in other words meant that forget the onward trek even our downward trek was in danger. We were warned by our guide that  downward trek is way too difficult than trekking upwards even in normal conditions. And rain and melting snow would further make it more dangerous as it often leads to loss of control and many mishaps. Following our guide's advice, we changed our plans to safely reach our base instead of trekking ahead.

Being a brave heart, who like to face challenges head on, I decided to lead. I started my downward journey ahead of everyone else. And I was the first one to finish our trek in flat two hours. So the trek which was difficult for many was a cakewalk for me.

During this trip, besides enjoying the nature's moody beauty and making some good friends, I tested my limits too and I was pleasantly surprised with myself. I was really looking forward to this trip for numerous reasons. It was my escape from the harsh reality. And it proved to be one. I had the time of life. Met some awesome people. Forgot all the heartache. I was brimming with hope and joy when I reached the concrete jungle.

However, like always, the joy was short lived. I didn't have an inkling that there was a worse news waiting for me. I didn't have a clue that the news I am going to get after experiencing the most awesome weekend will sweep away the ground beneath my feet. For a second I could not believe my ears. I was speechless. I was numb.I didn't know what was happening around me.

The year 2014 had started on a BIG HIGH for me but since then I have been getting jolts after jolts. And this one is perhaps the biggest.

But does that mean I give up?

NO.

I stand again with a resolve to win again.

Perhaps these jolts are necessary to challenge my limits and discover my true potential.

Also, I learnt one big lesson in the last 3 months that besides being forever optimist, it is good to be cynical too. Oxymoronic? Yeah. But sometimes oxymoron can co-exist. Pay attention to your intuition and observation while staying optimistic because:

What feels like 'too good to be true' is actually not True. It is your intuition's warning to brace yourself for the upcoming catastrophe.

In other words, Serendipity is a gift wrapped Catastrophe.

Though serendipity has positive connotations but you should always take it with a pinch of salt. Prepare yourself to brace the chaos too. Serendipity is not as simple as Oxford dictionary says it. It is far more complicated. There are different stages of happiness and randomness in the Serendipity curve.

So my advice to myself and others (in case anyone is interested) while you enjoy serendipity do take your intuition seriously to avoid the gift wrapped Catastrophe :)

Being a woman sports fan.

When you have grown up in a family where your favourite pastime is to watch sports, mind it sports not cricket, then you are bound to develop an interest in sports by default. Our dinner table discussions revolved around Azhar, Kapil, Ajay Jadeja, PT Usha, Leaner Paes, Prakash Padukone and very rarely Shanti, Svetlana could find place in our discussions. Guess coming from an army background changes your outlook towards life and the activities you indulge into. Although, I was more into watching than playing and that’s perhaps the reason why height didn't favour me. Anyways it's no surprise that I grew up to become an avid sports fan.

Barring my folks and friends, people still "test" me day in and day out on my sports knowledge. They still can’t come to terms that a girl can like sports too. Agreed, there are lesser number of women sports persons but that shouldn't be the reason for me not liking sports. Maybe I have more of my father in my genes. Or maybe I have a boy’s soul in a girl’s body :) I am sure reading that statement crazy ideas would be going in your mind. But rest your imagination horses.

Now let’s come back to the topic of being a woman sports fan.

The barrage of question would start with "Oh, really, you like sports?" and then there will be a tsunami of questions to test my knowledge, to prove myself if I was genuinely interested in sports or was I just faking to impress guys or just to stand out from other girls.

Once I would pass the first hurdle, the bar would be set higher for me. Stats, records, rules, players all will be tested. Believe you me, a life of a female fan is not easy and it’s damn difficult to fit into a male-dominated sports culture. Fandom is not measured by loyalty towards a team, but by the knowledge of statistics, players and history. Even though off late, more female fans have started following sports but still women are not fully accepted as equal-status fans by our male counterparts. We are still looked upon as lesser beings. Recently an avid sports fan indirectly made a pass at me saying that I don’t understand football at all and I made him think that Keys and Gray were right about what they have said about female sports fans. Here’s what Keys and Gray are reported to have said about Massey:

“Somebody better get down there and explain offside to her,” said Keys.
“Can you believe that? A female linesman. Women don’t know the offside rule,” said Gray.
Keys replied “Course they don’t. I can guarantee you there will be a big one today. Kenny (Dalglish) will go potty. This isn’t the first time, is it? Didn’t we have one before?” And then he added “The game’s gone mad. Did you hear charming [West Ham vice-chairwoman] Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism? Do me a favour, love.”

Though I was initially hurt to read his comment but later on I reconciled to the fact that even if I know nothing about the game, it should not deter me from following the game  I love so much. Since I have not followed football from my childhood therefore my knowledge cannot be compared with them. I am a slow learner but let me learn it my way not your way. Why should I be made fun of? Doesn't this mindset reek of male chauvinism in a milder avatar. But I have no complaints since everyone is entitled to his opinion. I will do what I feel is right and you can do what you feel is right. So, what is it that makes men feel so fidgety about accepting women as sport fans? Maybe it has got to do with them being misogynist :) (a hot favourite word of one of my tweep friend these days). There could be multiple reasons. I could think of few:

• Sports fell into male territory. My limited knowledge from history books, movies suggest that sports were considered to be an activity for the alpha members of the family. Outdoor activities which included hunting and sports were clearly a male domain. Female encroachment wasn't acceptable and was considered as trespassing. 

• Men and women consume sports differently and speak a different language. For women, it's a sensory experience that ends with the match, except for some unforgettable ones like Ind-Pak CWC match or France-Italy WC football final match or Djokovic-Nadal Australian open final. However, for men, it’s more to do with cerebral experience. For them match doesn't end with the match. In fact it’s a beginning to those endless discussions. They love to discuss games threadbare. The pregame analysis, the post game analysis, dressing room politics, team selection etc. Collecting sports knowledge, is as important as the game itself. Whosoever possesses the maximum knowledge has one-upmanship in his group. If you are not into sports, you are not man enough. You are sissy.

• Other reason could be sport is the only arena left for men to express their masculinity, besides in the bed ;) They think the fairer sex is a weaker sex and cannot play/watch sports for long. They think women don’t have the brains and patience to think beyond their kitty parties. But excusez-moi you are completely wrong.

• Stereotyping is what everybody loves to do. Most of the Indian men have grown up in households where their sisters or mothers have not watched sports. Therefore men tend to generalize that women can’t play sports. Infact our movies like Kutch Kutch Hota Hai have reinforced the same by saying “Girls can’t play basketball”. Even brands like Gatorade, Nike, redbull, Cinthol, that have taken sportiness as their advertising plank, always resort to taking male models simply because that’s the common perception. 

• No women sports culture. Women are not promoted to play sports. In childhood when boys play cricket, girls play hide and seek, tippi-tippi-tap, gudiya-gudiya, posham-pa, stappu, ludo etc. Basically all games that don’t involve physical activities. And since they don’t play sports therefore understanding, relating and liking them doesn't fit into their scheme of things. They feel out of place when boys discuss sports.

• Men don’t watch women spots because they think women aren't good enough and are no match to men competition. However, men do watch women's tennis. But that’s probably because there’s ample skin show. Since they don’t think too highly of women sports persons therefore they somehow perceive that women can’t be good even as spectators.

The reasons could be innumerable but the bottom-line is that Girls are still treated like an outsider in sports discussions, which discomforts me. But slowly and steadily things are changing and men are becoming more open minded. Though,there’s still a long way to go.

I agree I am not as knowledgeable about sports as my male friends are. But I am a die-hard sports fan and I don’t feel ashamed to accept that I tend to know less about numbers and history. Maths has always been my weak area, so please excuse me for not remembering the stats, even though I would consume just as much current sports coverage as my male counterparts would.

I like sports because I can relate to them. I find them more passionate and less dramatic. Sports inspire me to try harder and never give up on my dreams. Every morning, last night’s match provide me the fodder for my office cooler conversation. On match days most of my twitter updates would be about the match. Watching sports and discussing them is a great stress buster for me. It helps in bringing people closer to me. I automatically become friends with people who love sports. It's a bonhomie catalyst for me.

In fact the best part about following sports is that even if you are watching a match alone, you are never alone. The constant conversation in the real or virtual world multiplies the fun of watching sports manifolds. It’s like watching a game with friends even when you are alone. 

I am not the one who watches only highlights but I love to watch the match from beginning to end without flipping the channel. My favourite player choice is not based on his legs, or how cute he looks (but of-course excluding Djokovic :)) but how well he plays his game. I might not know everything about every player or his every move but trust me I would know about the team standings, match summaries, the league standings and but of course the rules. Silly point, mid-off, Bouncer, Center Forward, offside, DRS Wing, backhand, cannonball is not nuclear science to me. I am not scarred to engage in a passion filled argument about the team or player I support. I am definitely not a two minute fan to induct myself into the game simply to score with the guys. You don’t have to bother to explain any rules or tactics unless I ask for. Also, I really hate it when somebody would try to disturb my concentration.

My kind of weekend is not to go out on marathon shopping sessions with my girlfriends but to watch a match. I’ll be very happy if I can see it in a stadium or at a pub. I won’t complain even if I see it at home. I get really animated when I am watching the game. You’ll see me cheering the loudest when my team is winning and when my team is doing badly then I’ll be screaming my lungs out to curse the opposition or the referee.

Boys who complain their girlfriends don’t let them watch matches, should make an effort to involve them in the games they love so much. Once your girl cheer with you, trust me you’ll have lesser reasons to complain and fight. And you’ll live happily ever after :)

Give life a second chance

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. - Maria Robinson

This is not just a line but a life changing statement that has transformed millions of lives over the ages.

Let me start this post with a moral science story which I am sure each one of us would have heard during our school time.

The King and The Spider. 

Vikram, a brave king, once had to fight against a large army with just a few soldiers. He was defeated and had to run for his life. He took shelter in a forest cave. He was very depressed. He was blankly gazing at the ceiling of the cave and suddenly an interesting thing happened.

A small spider was trying to weave a web across the cave ceiling. As the spider crawled up, a thread of the web broke and the spider fell down. But the spider did not give up. He tried to climb again and again. Finally, the spider successfully climbed up and completed the web.

Vikram began to think, "If a small spider can face failure so bravely, why should I give up? I will try with all might till I win". This thought gave strength to the defeated king.

Vikram again and again fought against the large army and finally, after many attempts defeated the large army and regained his kingdom. He had learnt a lesson from the spider.

So the moral of the story is – Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

Life is all about second chances. 

We don’t live in a perfect world. We’re not perfect people.

If we don’t achieve in the first go then it doesn’t mean we give up on our dreams. We should try again the same thing or try afresh something else. The key is never to give up. 

We rarely get things right the first time.  We might not be successful in the first go but perseverance eventually turns things around.

Personally I don't even remember the number of second chances that I have taken so far but I’m not ashamed of them.  Even though I’ve failed a lot, it means I’ve tried a lot too. I might have failed in different spheres of life – relations, love, job, health etc. but I have not lost faith in any one of them.

What transmutes an obstacle into an opportunity is your attitude.  Giving a second chance in life is showing a middle finger to failures in your life. 

As Lou Holtz rightly said “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.”

When I was in school my parents dreamt of me becoming a doctor. I too tried hard but life had better plans for me. I couldn’t crack the medical exam but I did get through physiotherapy. However, had to let go of that opportunity considering that time it wasn’t a popular career option.

So instead of taking it negatively I decided to move on. I tried my hand at a different stream. I settled for a graduation in Industrial Microbiology. It was an interesting exposure as it made me realize that I am not cut for science stream. Next I moved on to do my Post Graduate diploma in advertising & communication. Again I entered into an unknown territory.

Whatever decisions I took in my career or my life I have no regrets as they have made me a wiser person. I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like success. I am very competitive by nature. And I take life in a challenging manner. Giving up just doesn’t exist in my dictionary.

People enter a relationship with rosy dreams but when it doesn’t work out, they try hard to make it work for some time. Some more time…and…some more time. When they realize that it’s not going to happen then the best thing is to move on. This decision might be extremely harsh as it affects not just two individual’s life but others lives too. 

Sometimes facing harsh reality today carves a beautiful path for tomorrow.

So give life another chance. Don’t compromise.

 

When Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupati partnership didn’t work out then instead of letting it drag and affect their game, they amicably decided to part ways at the peak of their career.

And the result is in front of our eyes. Recently Paes captured 50^th doubles title.

There are innumerable stories wherein people kept faith in themselves and embraced life not as it came but what they envisaged.

Here are few motivational stories:

Christopher Reeve. The actor who played Superman became paralyzed as a result of a riding accident. Ironical! Reeve used to cry every day dealing with the reality of being in a wheelchair. But after cryinh hard daily, he would tell himself, “And now, forward!” Despite his handicap, Reeve was an exemplary model of courage. He continued to travel, gave public appearances, raised funds, became a director and served as a voice for the quadriplegics in the United States.  

Elvis Presley. Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, got fired after just one performance. His manager, Jimmy Denny, told him, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”

 

 But your ambition has nothing to do with your age. It’s to do with your pursuit for excellence.

Below few examples illustrate the same:

 

Colonel Sanders: KFC lovers might find it unbelievable that Colonel Sander’s idea was rejected 1009 times over a period of 2 years.  He was 65 when Kentucky Fried Chicken was launched. Before turning into a successful entrepreneur Sander took lot of second chances in life - his  many jobs included farmhand, army mule-tender, motel operator, aspiring lawyer, failed political candidate and, amateur obstetrician. Today, more than 12 million people eat at KFC each day in 109 countries.

Walt Disney. The founder on whose cartons many generations have grown up was fired from his first job because he was told that he lacked imagination.

 Dr. Peter Mark Roget: Age is just a number when you talk about Roget.  He invented Thesaurus. at Age 73. Till 61 he was an accomplished doctor, lecturer and inventor. Thereafter the second lease of life happened.

 

I have come across many people who have compromised with their dreams, life and love because they found it convenient and non-disturbing.

My urge to those guys is that life is too precious to be compromised for anything. What is not working today might work tomorrow. The important thing is to listen to your heart. If it says give it a try then go full throttled. If it says it won’t then the best thing is to streamline your energies in other things that could give you a better future. 

You can restart your life at any given point. Here is a quick checklist to fast forward >>>>>

• Let go of the baggage and move on from the past.
• Learn lesson from your experience.
• Get rid of the negative attitude.
• Bravely accept accountability for your current situation.
• Focus on the things you can or want to change.
• Figure out what you really want.
• Eliminate the non-essentials.
• Be specific and concentrate on the main thing.
• Focus on DOING instead of NOT DOING.
• Chalk out a to-do strategy.
• Maintain self-control and work on it for real.
• Forget about impressing people.

Lastly but most importantly is to stay happy and to be open minded. 

Do not sulk and be cynical. 

As Oscar Wilde said “cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

Valentine’s Day: When a boring week day turns into a RED DAY!!!!!

Apologies for the long break. Could not help it though, as pappi pet ka sawal came in the way of blogging. However, it gave me some fodder for my blog.

During the Valentine’s week many things made it to the BREAKING NEWS – Delhi's Israeli Bomb Blast, Dhoni’s never ending love with thrilling climax to the ODIs, SC rejecting Army Chief VK Singh’s plea, Politicians celebrating every day as promise day in UP elections, Sahara making Indian cricket team besahara and a peaceful VALENTINE’S DAY celebrations for a change.

So what is that I am going to bore you with today? Well, since I am a prisoner of love what best then writing about Valentine’s Day.

Now let me begin with some history gyan about Valentine’s Day.

The origin of this day is from my favourite country – Italy.

Italy is one place that I am dying to see. Italian food, architecture and culture attract me like a magnet. Maybe my something is waiting there! Time I start planning my next holiday.

Anyways that’s a topic to be pondered over next time. Let me come back to the original point.

Valentine’s Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno, the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl’s name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody wars and to enroll more soldiers into army Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome.

Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome that time. He and Saint Marius secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. To show gratitude towards Saint Valentine the pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavored to celebrate this day on the name of Saint Valentine’s Day.

So you see Valentine’s Day actually started with a SACRIFICE. Love was to be savored not lusted for.
Also, nowhere it was patented that only boys would make all efforts to please the girls. It was a mutual effort.

But today Valentine’s Day has turned into a Merchandise Day.

City gets painted in Red. Girls deck up in red from top to toe, holding red roses with red gifts. Heart is no more a part of your body but is suspended in Malls. So much is red mania that I hate seeing anybody draped in red.

These days’ materialistic pleasures have taken over the heart matters. The colored lenses never allow you to see through the depths of your heart in your eyes.

I have an inherent problem with all these so called days that celebrate LOVE, MOTHERS, WOMEN, FATHER, and CHILDREN among scores of other things.

I believe that love and relationships are to be celebrated every day.

So here's a toast to every day of Life. Make it count!!!!!!!!

Love your Life

Adoore Sapne

Ae dil sambhal ja zara…

Kyun tu khud ko tabah karne hai chala…

Kyun dekhe sapne jo kabhi na honge poore…

Kyun sochta hai iss baar anzam alag hoga…

Kyun tujhe lagta hai ke iss baar koi tujhe samjhega...

Kyun sochta hai mehman ke jagah iss bar tera humsafar tere saath hoga.

 

Majhi badal jaane se toofan nahi ruka karte...

Teri zindagi to sabse bada toofan hai…

Tu kyun toofan mein kashti chalata hai…

Teri kismat mein sirf tootna likha hai aur wahi hoga… 

Kyun sochta hai tera pyaar kissi ko badal dega…

Behtar yahi hai tu sambhal ja aur khud ko hi badal le…

Why life is so multidimensional?

When adam and eve were alive then their life must have been linear with just one aberration- apple. Which later on changed their life for forever.

Today we live a life of cobwebs where every moment we have to fight multidimensional problems. There is absolutely nothing simple in our lives. Right from waking up till the time we travel to dreamland, we are always fire fighting. We are always living on the edge. Personal life is sacrificed for professional life and vice versa. Still we face criticism and apathy everywhere.

Then there is a huge gap between expectations and deliveries. In every match we hope sachin to score his 100th ton but what we get to see is the entire team getting out on 192. We hope that we will get good appraisals but what we get in hand is peanuts with sky high inflation. We start working on a new business thinking we'll change the world. But we end up fighting over a logo size. We buy a house thinking we'll have a place to call it OUR AASHIYANA but we end up getting EMI life sentence.

We get into a relationship thinking it to last long, if not eternal, but what we get is a bitter lesson. Which we keep experiencing again and again without drawing any lessons from it. When we fall in love with someone we think that we are going to love an individual but we end up dealing with a barrel of problems related to that one individual. We try to solve that for a bit. But eventually the plural problems take over the singular love.

Multidimensions confusing the linear thought process. Somewhere we loose out the heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul connection. More than sharing and enjoying the simple pleasures of life we fight over trivial issues. All the time we are fighting for something worthless. And in the process losing out the biggest treasure of life - pure unadulterated happiness.

It is not so difficult to lead a happy life. You just need to fine tune your frequency with the one that you love. But if that someone special is entangled with a worldly mess of problems then it's better to try for a while and then just leave it at a beautiful end. Linear decision taken with the right amount of objectivity is always a better option. No point making an issue out of those multidimensional issues.
Writing this post my mind seems to have find a solution to an entangled mass of thorns :-) hope i can continue with the same clarity of thought for some time.